Sometimes a Father Needs to be a “Bad Cop” to be a “Friend”
My friend’s college daughter bought 2 tickets for a REM concert in Chicago. She planned to give one of the tickets to her 12-year old brother for his birthday gift. He was very excited. Her roommate volunteered to pick-up the tickets at the arena 2 days before the concert. But her roommate decided to keep the tickets and go to the concert with her boyfriend. The roommate even refused to reimburse my friend’s daughter for the tickets.
My friend’s daughter called him, crying. There was nothing that she could do.
So, my friend called his daughter’s roommate. He explained to her, in a calm, but very resolute voice, that he would come to their apartment with the County Sheriff, with a warrant for her arrest: Felonious theft by conversion. If she tried to avoid him. He would relentlessly hunt her down.
He would go to the Dean’s Office and explain that she committed a crime, and was avoiding arrest. He would ask for a list of all her classes, and notify all of her professors of her theft. He would obtain her parents phone number, and call them about her felony theft, and that he would pursue a conviction, to the fullest extent of the Law.
He would notify the concert arena and tell them about her theft. They should alert ushers in the section of the stolen tickets, to notify the Sheriff if she attends the concert. He would search for the name of her boyfriend, and have a warrant issued for his arrest, as an accomplice to a felony. (they were expensive tickets) He would notify her boyfriend’s professors or employer about his arrest warrant.
She should not think for a moment that my friend would not do all those things. He urged her to ask the other 2 roommates what he did to the apartment manager, who tried to cheat his daughter out of the apartment lease (Refer to May Blog Post – Relationship Category) The other 2 roommates would confirm that the father is relentless in the pursuit of the punishment of an offender to his daughter.
This theft is far worse. This theft involves 2 members of my friend’s family. One is his youngest son, who is extremely excited to attend his first rock concert, with his college sister. How cool.
My friend told the roommate thief that she had exactly one hour to return those 2 concert tickets to his daughter. If his daughter did not call him saying that she had the 2 tickets in her possession, he would drive down to the District Attorney’s Office that night and begin the criminal process. He was not bluffing.
The Above YouTube Lyrics Capture the Essence of a father’s Relationship with His Daughter
Within 17 minutes, my friend’s daughter called him to say that she has both tickets. She asked if her roommate could apologize for taking the tickets. The girl sobbed continuously throughout her apology. My friend reassured her that her apology was accepted. And that she would not suffer any consequences for her bad behavior. She seemed relieved when he hung up.
My friend’s son & daughter enjoyed the concert. The thief learned a life lesson. His daughter knew she had a friend in her dad.
Days after the concert, my friend told his daughter that he couldn’t possibly do all the stuff that he threatened to do. The father knew that he had to create credible, intense pressure, within a very short time to respond, to panic that girl to return the tickets. It didn’t matter what he could do. All that mattered is what the roommate “Thought He Would Do”.
Sometimes a father has to be a “Bad Cop’ to be a “Friend” to his family.