Archives for May 2019

Discipleship

May 1, 2019 by admin Leave a Comment

Discipleship

My friend developed the 4-color post card (below) as a result of a small group Bible Study discussion. One group member commented that he first told people about how much Jesus loved him when he was six years old. However, as he grew older, he became more reluctant as he became more concerned about what people would think of him.

My frend admitted a different problem with “Discipleship”: Pride. My friend freely told others about the “Gospel Message”. But upon reflection, he realized that his “Discipleship” was more about the messenger than the message. He violated Kipling’s advice, “Not to look too good, and nor talk too wise”.

He realized that there were only two times in his adult life when he was like that 6 year-old boy.. Both times were previously reported in prior blog posts: “Reflections at Time of Passing”, which assuaged the grief of parents whose daughter died 3 days before her Wedding Day. And, “The Buddhist Tonglen Prayer, with Christian Values”, that returned joy to the life of a bitter, angry divorcee.

With tears in his eyes, my friend confessed that, “Only twice in my adult life was I like that 6-year-old boy. The rest of the time was all about me.”

My friend attempted to expand the role of “Discipleship” among his fellow parishioners by mailing the above postcard to encourage church members to write an email about a spiritual experience, address it to family & friends, and “Click” the Send Button.

His plan was based on his observation of various discussion group members sharing their personal spiritual experiences with each other, during Bible Studies, etc. He reasoned that if they willing to share their spiritual experiences with other church members, they would be willing to do the same with family & friends.

He also used his personal example of creating a free website: www.messagesfrommyfriend.com as one person sharing personal experiences (some spiritual) with others.

To lessen reluctance of personal rejection, my friend reminded parishioners that Discipleship is akin to sowing seeds and letting the harvesting up to God. It’s about effort, not outcomes. The outcomes are up to God.

My friend also provided the advice of the great Russian dancer Nureyev. When asked “What is the secret to your great dancing?” Nureyev said, “I dance best when I just dance. I dance worst, when I peek at the audience to see how I’m doing.”

My friend mailed this postcard to members of his Church, and encouraged them to email it to their family & friends, who may forward it to their family & friends, and so on. He also mailed the post card to other Christian Churches to encourage them to adapt it as a bulletin insert, or website link, or mailer, or whatever. And encourage their members to forward the card’s message to others.

Modest cost and effort will result in a great reward. It’s “Discipleship ROI” on steroids.

“Sacramentals” in the Home

May 1, 2019 by admin Leave a Comment

“Sacramentals” in the Home

My friend attended a seminar about “Sacramentals in the Home”.

In my friend’s home, the dining room table is definitely a “Sacramental”. Over four decades of birthday parties, anniversaries, graduations, athletic victories, Thanksgiving, and Christmas dinners were celebrated around that magnificent mahogany table. Countless laughs and tears were shared along with the food and drink.

The collective nicks and scars from toppled wine glasses and gravy drippings by exuberant celebrants are testimony of good times, past. My friend never considered the restorative refinishing to the table’s original pristine shine. Those time-worn blemishes are badges of honor never to be erased by the specious patina of new glossy stains and varnish. While bruised & beaten, that joyous & glorious dining table serves as a family memorial to all that was true and good throughout the years.

Along with this sacred family table, is the valued tradition of “Customizing a Blessing” in honor of a specific occasion. For example, if the family were celebrating a wedding anniversary, the last line of the “Blessing” would be changed accordingly:

“May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm on your face, and the rain fall soft on your fields.
And for the rest of your wedded life, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.”

Other adaptations are:

“And for the rest of your new productive career…”
“And for your successful surgery & speedy recovery…”
“And for repair-free enjoyment in your new home…”

And so on, and so on…

These adaptive “Blessings” are an integral part of family traditions celebrated around the dining table. The term “Sacramental” elevates family celebrations to the realm of something “Holy”. They are clearly celebrations of love. They are functional expressions of Mother Theresa’s sage advice, “If you want world peace, go home and love your family.”

And so, that dining table supported more than dishes and serving platters & bowls. That dining table supported his family’s “Loving Spirit”, collectively and individually. It provided strength “To stand on mountains. It was a safe harbor during stormy seas.” It’s main entrée’ was confidence: “To be all that one could be.”

All family and guests shared in the generous servings of those delicacies, as they were freely passed around that magnificent mahogany table. In the stillness of the night, the table emitted no groaning creaks. All that was heard were the echoes of lingering laughter; and visions of hugs and kisses.

That’s exactly what Mother Theresa had in mind.

Life’s Two Major Tasks

May 1, 2019 by admin Leave a Comment

Life’s Two Major Tasks

My friend summarized Franciscan priest Richard Rohr’s week-long Seminar about “Life’s Two Major tasks”. The 1^st task is to build a “container”, or identity. The 2^nd task is to find the contents to fill that container.

We need to identify and clarify the needs between the 2 halves of our lives. The 1^st half is about DOING. The 2^nd half is about BEING. The agenda of the 1^st half is social, meeting the demands and expectations of our Milieu. The 2^nd half’s agenda is spiritual., addressing the issues of meaning. The ego’s hardest task, during the 2^nd half, is to go beyond itself into service. “Service is what is desired by the soul.” – James Hollis. Religion in the 2^nd half is NOT a Moral Matter. It’s a Mystical Matter.

As Ken Webber suggests, “We need to transcend and include as we grow. We need to recognize the value of what came before, while shedding old skins and identities that no longer fit us.” That process requires noticing the different priorities we valued, the different measures of right & wrong, and the different sources of meaning & belonging.

Objectively, we were made in the image & likeness of God, as children of God, destined to be heirs of heaven. We need a healthy ego to believe that. Thus, the 1^st part of our spiritual journey is about: Externals, Formulas. Rituals. Scriptural Quotes – substitutes for an authentic spiritual experience. (Matthew 23: 13-32) Those sentiments and styles are necessary as long as we don’t devote our entire life to them.

They are not the totality of the Spiritual Experience. By definition, an authentic God Experience is too much for us to process all at once. It consoles our True Self, while it devastates our False Self. Early stage spiritual experience prepares us for the immense gift of the awesome awareness of the presence of God within us. Many people get preoccupied with their “stable” into which Christ will be born. They wonder if their stable is better than other stables. Or worse, whether their stable is the “One and Only True” stable. They never get to the birth of God in their soul.

Thus, those concerned with superficial performance keep doing the “Survival Dance”. They never get to the “Sacred Dance”. They never make the transformation of Consciousness to the 2^nd half of life. They merely keep repeating a few doctrines or performing some rituals, with passionate intensity, while missing the Mystical Vision.

In Romans 9:16, Paul says, “The only thing that counts is the mercy of God, and NOT what humans try to do.” The 1^st half of life is spent trying, achieving, and self-promoting – some version of the performance principle. In the 2^nd half, we learn it’s not about DOING. It’s about BEING. The 2^nd half hears voices of wisdom that sound like: Risk. Trust. Surrender. Counter-intuitive. Destiny. Love. It’s the still, small voice that Elijah heard. (Kings 19:11-13)

The 2^nd half of life presents the rich possibility of Spiritual Enlargement. It’s what God intended – not parents, or the tribe, or the fragile, inflated ego. It asks us to surrender the ego’s agenda for security and emotional reinforcement, in favor of humbly serving the soul’s intent: to live a life that comes from within. Rather than a life tuned into the noisy clamor of the outside world. No wonder so few feel connected to their soul. (They are obtuse to the astute observation of C. S. Lewis: “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body?”)

Accordingly, during the 2^nd half of life, we jettison the futility of our desires, the fragility of cultural values, the seduction of ambition, and the illusion of security. We jettison the spiritual insecurity of cobbling together some scriptural passages as if they capture the essence the Word of God. That’s as foolish & fruitless as blind men clinging to the tail, leg and side of an elephant proclaiming that the totality of its essence is reduced to those particular parts. Many Christians miss the totality of the Trinity of God by reducing the incomprehensible, infinite God to the finite capability of minds, using selective translations of words with multiple meanings, to define the “Word of God”.

Perhaps, if we accepted that God is a Magnificent Mystery beyond all human understanding, that doesn’t need to be defined, but simply experienced. Perhaps, if we understood that we don’r need to prove ourselves worthy of God, by what we know or what we do (The Performance Principle). And that it’s ALL about what God has done for us (His Redemption). Then, we can switch from trying to love God, and just letting God love us, like He did on Good Friday & Easter, and does every day through His Gift of Grace. Hence, we are no longer afraid of God. (Fear is to expect punishment.) Instead we fall in love with God, as He loves us. It’s a Mystical Experience.

It’s a relationship of the Spirit of God born within us connecting to the Majestic, Infinite God outside of ourselves. It’s God’s Gift we just need to accept, enjoy, and share with one another. The hardest thing to do is accept that God accepts us, “As is”. We need to empty the container of our ego, and fill it with the mystical experience of God. We need to stop DOING, and start BEING. (BEING: “We were created in the image & likeness of God, as children of God, and heirs to heaven. And that God so loves us that He sent His only Son to reconcile His creation back to Him.”

We need to stop trying to improve what God created and re-grafted. Amen.

Choosing the “Right Man” – First

May 1, 2019 by admin Leave a Comment

Choosing the “Right Man” – First

(Or, “Esse Quam Videri” – To Be, Rather Than To Appear)

My friend met with 2 of the 17 women authors of the book, “The Breakthrough Effect”. The 17 women authors chronicled their gut-wrenching, actual experiences of physical, emotional, and financial abuse, often starting from their wedding day, and continuing thereafter. The greatest source of their abuse was their bad choice of their first husband. Their selection of the “Right Man” for their second husband was one of the common denominators of their “Breakthrough” to overcome the entrapment from their awful life.

The new Right Man supports his wife through her 5 steps of “Breakthrough”: Faith. Truth. Personal Responsibility. Proper Tools. Solid Support. Those factors have proven to be the effective process for a woman to construct a new, happy, productive life.

It’s too facile to attribute some women’s first choice of an abusive husband to the superficial attractions of a handsome, charming man, providing physical satisfaction. However, some young women may eschew the reliable, in search of the exciting. The reliable man is more about patience & acceptance, than moonlight & balconies. He’s willing to share who he is, expecting nothing in return. He’s willing to write his hurts in sand, and kindness, in stone. He’s willing to surrender his need to be right.

His love is not conditional. It’s not, “I’ll love if you’re beautiful…if you you’re sexy…if you please me.” He loves a woman “as is”. Hence, he can vow to love her “For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for the rest of her life”. He’s able to forgive because he accepts that “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the boot, that crushed it”. He does all these things because of his awareness of the presence of God within him.

That awareness occurred after his baptism, when the spirit of God’s unselfish love first entered his heart & soul. And from that day to his wedding day, God’s grace nurtured that love, until it matured into the rich, fullness, that allowed him to vow to his wife, to love her for the rest of her life.

It takes time, and a certain amount of savvy, for a woman to recognize and accept the wisdom of the Latin phrase, “Esse Quam Videri” – “To Be, Rather Than to Appear”. The choice of “Essence” over “Appearance”. How does he interact with children, when he thinks that no one is looking.? Does he care about his elderly parents? Or, are they an inconvenience, interrupting his free time? Is his career all consuming, or a means to provide necessities? Does he own a car for transportation, or does the car’s emblem, own him? Are his clothes all about labels? Are his hobbies and entertainment determined by the whims du jour?

The answers to all those questions determine whether he is someone rock-solid, upon which a woman can build a relationship, or a superficial, self-absorbed prima-donna who flutters to the next best option.

When she chooses the former (The Right Choice), her marriage will be much different than the customary 50/50 relationship. Their marriage vows commit to give each other 100% of who they are. Mathematically, their marriage is 50/50, but their relationship is much more than half-hearted. If someone gives less than 100%, there is plenty of reserve for their relationship to thrive.

Couples who do all those things, and forgive the exceptions, never know bitterness. They only know joy, because they treat life’s challenges as merely temporary inconveniences. For their marriage rests in the palm of God’s hand.